40 Days of Dating: Montage
Did they kiss dating goodbye? '40 Days of Dating' couple reveals all in new book
10 Sep What happened when two 'painfully cool' New York hipsters dated each other for 40 days and blogged about every single moment of their affair? Before I continue I should warn you that their couples therapist, her personal therapist, and their joint musings based on all the years of therapy they've. 3 Feb HuffPost Live sat down with Tim and Jessica to not only discuss their "40 Days of Dating," but to also find out what's happened since. Here's the backstory: After going on a few dates at the beginning of the experiment, Jessica started wondering if Tim was actually interested in her at all. "He was driving me. Two good friends with opposite relationship problems found themselves single at the same time. As an experiment, they dated for 40 days.
Did anything interesting happen? Before the date, Tim had a messenger deliver a cute note: Truthfully, I am quite nervous. However, I know that when an opportunity scares me, I must go for it. Article source matter what the outcome, it will certainly be an interesting experience. Hopefully we can have some fun along the way, too. Did you learn anything new about Timothy? He told me that when his mother got pregnant, his father made her choose between keeping the child or staying with him.
It seems to me his dating style could result from this. He breaks off relationships before they get too serious to avoid the risk of abandonment. We all have our issues and cope with life differently. Did you learn anything new about yourself? I heart my dad!
Timothy Goodman: 40 Days of Dating in 400 Seconds [PSFK 2014]
My parents married at a young age, and have a successful marriage. I think I have have some sort of guard up preventing myself from seeing Tim as anything more than a very close friend. As his relationship patterns are the opposite of mine, a part of me fears that if we were to really date, one of us might wind up getting hurt. We also have a tight group of friends, and I think we are both afraid to compromise that.
Is there anything that you source to do differently? In my work and other aspects of life, I am uncomfortable with comfortable. But when it comes to relationships, I do seek secure relationships that are clearly defined. I know I should relax and open myself up to vulnerability, so I can learn to enjoy dating more in the future.
Tim insisted on being a gentleman and paying for dinner, which was very sweet of him, but I want to get the next one. We both teach Wednesday nights, so we went out to dinner after class to the Fat Raddish. Jessie brought me a little care package of stuff to jokingly get me through the next 40 days. And she remembered that I like Clif Bars! Did you learn anything new about Jessica? We talked about our families more than we ever did before.
Earlier in the day I sent a little note to Jessie by messenger. I wanted to honor our project together with something lighthearted.
Well, she and I ended up talking about this Forty Days of Dating project the entire time. Not exactly what I was anticipating. She was very excited. She thinks Jessie and I are going to fall in love. She texted me later that night:. We went to our first couples therapy session together.
I go to therapy on my own, and have always enjoyed it. Life passes by so quickly, and I like having an hour a week to reflect in an attempt to learn and grow from it all. She asked us straight away if Tim and I were attracted to each other. After some awkward glances, we both admitted that we do find each other attractive. Tim immediately rattled out numerous reasons:. He loves the freedom of the single life. He sees it as a weakness see more I love love.
I learned early on that money does not make me happy. There are actually statistics that show that salary increase only make people happier until basic needs of food and water are met. Tim seems extremely overwhelmed by the idea of having to see me every day for this project.
He almost had a panic attack when I sent him a list of date ideas for the next week!
I do love to plan things and have a schedule. However, I also greatly enjoy spontaneity. So far so good. In therapy we talked about how I am extremely picky about who I date.
However, when I do decide I really like someone, I am quick to jump into a relationship in order to test it out and see how it goes. I become extremely invested in people and things that I care about, which can cause me to fall for someone quickly.
Tim thinks I should be more cautious…. Tim is right, I do love love. Apparently, the feeling of falling in love is wired in us to help the survival of our species. While sexual desire exists to make sure we pop out babies, the feelings of love exists to promote bonding and pairing between mates to increase the survival rate of the children.
Chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine are released when in love. The chemicals increases energy, increases focus, and helps make us feel fucking awesome all the time. In fact, research shows brain activity in love is almost identical to our brain activity on cocaine. We went to our first therapy session together. I think it was a bit soon for this, but our therapist Jocelyn wanted to have a consultation first. Why are you doing this project? What is the goal of this project?
Do you want to date each other? Here you ready to be hurt? What happens if you screw up your friendship?
And on and on and on! I almost had a panic attack. However, neither Jessie or I would have talked about this stuff so soon without having the therapist as a soundboard.
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I think it was helpful. But I do save money, while I think she spends. I get uncomfortable talking about what could happen in the next 40 days. I was sort of freaking out after therapy.
I was texting with one of my best friends, Greg in Chicago, and he told me to just have fun with it. So, I want to make sure I just have fun with it.
Are we afraid to go after what we really deserve? The play is about a bunch of college students going to parties, getting drunk, having sex, and their complicated interpersonal relationships. The characters are either opportunistic, self-serving, entitled, indulgent, or power-seeking.
Tim, what was your reaction when you read Jessica's account of those last couple days — did you purposely include that cliffhanger of being in love with her at the end to leave the door open? Now, a year and a half later, they have a book out under the same name, out Feb. Stop eating lunch at your desk 2w.
I found the complicated dynamic of these different personalities to be an interesting twist on the usual character development. After the play, we wandered over to a bar nearby in the West Village for a drink.
Tim told me about his last serious relationship with a girl he dated in San Francisco when he worked for Apple. I feel like he broke her heart. Things were getting serious between them when she had to leave for business for a few months. The long distance scared him, and he broke off the relationship when she got back. He seemed to feel bad about it.
One part of the play stirred up emotions from something that happened in my past. I was slightly shaken up after the play so I told Tim about it to explain why I was acting strangely.
40 Days of Dating: Where they are now — and their future plans
I try not to look back too much and get caught up in the past, but sometimes it does unexpectedly creep back up on me.
It was cute that Tim insisted on being a gentleman and walking me home after the play. I am a sucker for the common dating courtesies.
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Tim seemed slightly annoyed that I missed his text messages before the play. I hate text messaging. My fingers get tired. The misunderstanding and the AutoCorrect drive me nuts. When I have a crazy day at work, I often forget to check my cell phone. I know this drives certain people a little crazy.
I guess I should look into an app that downloads texts to the computer. I just wanted to stay in and watch the Knicks game. However, Jessie go here I have something planned on Sunday, so it was probably best to do a date tonight instead of Saturday night.