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Why We Hurt the Ones We Love, and Let Them Hurt Us

In trusting another person, we believe that they won't hurt us; when they do hurt us, we then have the awareness that this other person has the capacity to hurt us. Most often, when people have been betrayed, they have overwhelming emotions which are so intense that they are unable to make any sense out of them. Because they loved the other person much more than they loved you. Its not necessary that even if you I immensely loved someone, the other person also has to love you back. Everyone's got their needs. May be, definitely, you didn't meet those. Fin. 3 Oct When respect is seen as an entitlement and a person doesn't get what she thinks she deserves, pride can worm its way into her heart until she's willing betray her closest friend, even her family. “I work hard, so I deserve recognition.” “I'm smarter and more talented than her, why does she get promoted?.

Khalil Gibran said, "Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. Under certain circumstances source can't even tell doubt and faith apart, or we may feel consumed by both at the same time.

Betrayal is one of these circumstances. We suffer quietly through disloyalty from a partner, friend, or family member, but this embeds harmful emotions deeply into our being. Our trust in others erodes if we don't process the reality of betrayal and work through its painful impressions. And who hasn't been betrayed? After one partner is unfaithful, we just can't imagine our next love interest remaining loyal.

If our best friend deceives us, we begin to think all friends are capable of this sinister act.

13 Steps to Recover From Betrayal

In this way, we set ourselves up for a vicious cycle and program our minds to believe that betrayal is something we'll just have to learn to live with.

But infidelity of any kind can bring about wisdom and invaluable lessons to be learned.

Mothers and fathers sacrifice for their children. Give yourself time to heal, and stop running the story in your head. Phoebe Moody There are popular philosophies which are completely opposite by nature ….

And we can take action to cleanse our spirit of the grim past and, in a sense, betray our own betrayal. Betrayal leaves us at a fork in the road. We can choose to act in ways that either favor or impede personal growth: We decide our path. Act on my 13 steps to recover faith after betrayal:. Erase the imprints of betrayal.

The wounds of betrayal can be so submerged in our subconscious mind that they might be difficult to extract. Meditation can help to reach the root of former deception and jumpstart the healing process.

I recommend quietly meditating for a few minutes each day, digging into the contents of your brain and wiping out old memories or thought patterns that keep you stagnant. Forgiving does not mean accepting the wrong behavior of others; it means detaching from the pain, frustration, and bitterness buried within. Forgiveness breaks us free like a ship dislodging from a dock; life is our open sea when we pardon the past.

Betrayal Is The Inversion of Love

But as long as we harbor hatred or anger against others, personal progress is stifled. Strive to forgive one person a day. I mean, literally throw it away! Capture the emotions, describe the terrible moment, and highlight the magnitude of the event.

I went to Big Sur by myself, and the week after returning home, I filed for divorce. Will your love last? When my second marriage was falling apart, my husband did agree to go to marriage counseling with me. Somehow over the last few weeks we have been working together to move on. I was disappointed she had lied an cheated link coming to me to talk.

Get it out of your system, no matter how long ago it occurred. Then, fold this paper and get rid of it in a dramatic way.

You can toss it in a dumpster, throw it into the ocean, even flush it down the toilet. I'm not encouraging you to litter the streets with letters of betrayal or clog your bathroombut I Why Do People Betray Those Close To Them want you to eliminate any traumatic traces by disposing of an object that holds your darkest emotions.

Your faith wasn't damaged in one day, so it can't be rebuilt in such a short time. Like a puzzle, you have to start piecing your faith back slowly.

At first, you might find it hard to trust anyone, but slowly and surely you'll redevelop a sense of confidence in the good click here of others. All you have to do is be willing to rediscover faith.

Find others who have faith. You're not the only one who's been betrayed, and you're certainly not the only one who wants to regain faith in others. There are many wonderful, honest people who want to earn your trust. Surround yourself with a positive group of people on the same faithful path as you. Regain faith in yourself. The first person you have to trust is yourself.

Develop a deep, unbreakable bond with your outstanding abilities and your own self-vows. Make a new promise to yourself each month. Keep that promise and take small, daily steps until it becomes habit. Because if you can't trust yourself, who can you trust? Detach from people you don't trust. There's no reason to put up with people who act in bad faith. If you feel someone is not trustworthy, you don't need them in your life.

Be selective about the people you bring in for your own well-being. Choosing to cling to people who don't inspire faith will only lead you to distrust everyone as a whole.

Walk away from those you know are not right for you. Remember the phrase, do unto others as you would have them do unto you? Whether you've been betrayed or not, don't resort to betraying another. If you're unhappy in your relationship, simply move on. But do not knowingly deceive or mislead to satisfy your ego. Revenge only perpetuates bad karma and traps you in a cycle of recurring action.

Why Do People Betray Those Close To Them

Envision a future free of betrayal. It's okay to daydream. Being able to visualize an ideal future despite current drawbacks is one of the most beautiful elements of life.

How To Forgive When You Can’t Forget

Imagine each day that no one will ever hurt you again. The images you create in your mind become projections of reality in the future, so be careful of the thoughts you send out into the universe. What you fear most, you most attract, and if you quiet your fears, you can control what you draw in.

Instead, the peaceful, harmonious thoughts you choose to portray in your mind will manifest into your reality. Your emotions can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

Emotions are the essence of our existence, but when they're taken to the extreme, they can downright block our lives. We can easily become stuck in our feelings, mentally and even physically. When we're depressed, we have trouble going about our daily routines or we overeat to try and steady our feelings. In order to heal from betrayal and keep it from reoccurring in the future, you have to keep your emotions in check. If you obsess over something that happened in the past, you become stuck in that moment in time.

But if you can think logically and understand the need to move forward, you Why Do People Betray Those Close To Them indeed master your emotions.

Take a leap of faith. Make a decision based on pure faith. Don't over-analyze or think too much. Follow the voice of your click to see more this can be leaving a job you feel isn't right for you, moving to a new home if your gut keeps telling you to relocate, or even separating from your partner if you just know the relationship is wrong.

You will see that acting on faith rather than fear fosters better decisions. Trust two people unconditionally. While you should always be rational in your level of trust towards others, pick two people to trust without limits.

Why Do People Betray Those Close To Them

They can be family members, your spouse, friends -- any two people you know would never harm you in any way. Putting your hopes in your loved ones teaches you that yes, there still exist goodhearted folks you can confide in.

Reaffirm your faith each day. Every morning when you wake up, speak an affirmation to yourself in a loud voice. Affirm your strong faith in others, in yourself, and in your future. Waking up with a faithful phrase each day will wipe away lingering doubts in your mind. Here are some faith-inducing affirmations to try:. I trust the Why Do People Betray Those Close To Them in my life fully; I have faith that they act with respect and genuine intentions towards me. My future holds unlimited potential; I trust that my loved ones will help me achieve my potential.

A painstaking experience, betrayal is felt by all in time. But whether we remain trapped in the emotions of betrayal or we break through its barriers becomes our choice. Implement my 13 actions click the following article to wipe away the negative effects of a former infidelity and restore your faith in both others and yourself.

To connect with Dr. Carmen Harra on Facebook, click here. For more by Dr. Carmen Harra, click here. Carmen Harra's website, click here. For more on life lessons, click here. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Frederic Cirou via Getty Images. Act on my 13 steps to recover faith after betrayal: Here are some faith-inducing affirmations to try: I work well with others to set goals and reach accomplishments together.

I am free from the wrongdoings of others; I am unaffected by their behavior.