HOW TO DEAL WITH STRICT INDIAN PARENTS? MY PARENTS ARE SO STRICT! #strictindianparents
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24 Jun Furthermore, children of overprotective parents cannot deal adequately with hardships and other frustrations of life. In other words, they have very low tolerance for . These children are so infantilized by their parents that they cannot survive the school environment. Teachers view the overprotected child as . 27 Jul Growing up in India has its own never-ending struggles but if your Venn Diagram of 'Indian Struggles' intersects with 'Growing Up With Strict Parents', then, you, my dear stranger friend, are screwed. It's really confusing to have Strict Parents, mainly because you're really thankful that they care so much. First, most modern parents' love their daughters a lot. Why are Indian parents over protective when it comes to their daughters? How can Indian parents (fathers in particular) come to terms with the fact that their daughters have boyfriends and things that go along with.
How to deal with Indian parents when dating a Caucasian girl? August 5, 5: How do I deal with my parents who only believe in marrying someone who is also Indian? I've not told them about the girl I'm dating because I do not want to deal with bad talk when the relatives and family involved. So I've been dating this girl for about 2 months and we get along fairly well. I live with my parents who are born and raised in India so they value traditional culture.
My parents don't know that I'm dating a girl who is different race. I know that they would freak out and try their best to lecture me on only to date Indian girls. Anyway, I sleepover at my girlfriend place about nights a week. I have been telling them I'm going to my guy friends house.
But click they have been getting suspicious that I have a girlfriend and aren't letting me go out. And my girlfriend wants me to come there all the time.
We have great time when were together. Even tho I'm Indian, I do see my self with this girl in the future. But I do not know how to handle the pressure and barrier from my parents.
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I have one more year of school left and then I'll be moving out on my own to source different city. Me and my girlfriend have already talked about this and she's okay with it. But right now, I live with my parents so I have to abide by their rules.
What is the best way to approach this situation? I know my parents will find out eventually. I really do like this girl a lot and want to see her as much as I can.
It won't have to be a big sneaking around production. You know you are Indian when all of your relatives seem to have been born with this innate knack for bargaining. It took me years to find friends that is MY age. I recently switched my career completely to what I have always wanted to do and she hasn't told anyone because she thinks I will snap out of it because i'm "chasing dreams"! Her bigger concerns were having a clean house and that we did everything we were told.
Have they already told you that they expect you to only date Indian girls? Was it based on ethnicity, cultural, religion Are you first or second generation?
Do you have any cousins who have paved the way in this regard so to speak? You sound like you might be around 20 or so? Given that you have only been with her for two months, I would probably counsel not revealing it to them until you think you might be more serious. If the repercussions will bring stress and tension, it may not go here worth it. It sucks to hide things from your parents, I know.
It seems that this is a challenge for many 2nd generation young adults--how much you're going to disappoint your parents! FWIW, I actually am coming from the other sideth generation euro-american, very areligious family, marrying a 2nd generation catholic indian-american girl. Her decision was to keep our relationship secret until we were sure we would be getting married.
Then she began a "slow reveal" process, where I was first revealed to be a friend, then a serious boyfriend. She did this to lessen the stress and "pain" for her parents of her not marrying catholic boy from their culture, speaking their language more religion and culture than language though. So I expect this may depends on how authoritarian your parents are, how much you're willing to deceive them and for how long, what would bring them to acceptance--them meeting her and finding her nice, marriage, children??
Some source will probably tell you to have an open and honest discussion with your parents, since you're basing their freaking out on an assumption that they would freak out.
Some people will probably tell you that you may be reading them wrong, and that with time and communication, you'll be able to foster an understanding. And that may well be the case. But sometimes, you just sort of know how your family will react to something. If that's you, then you should lie to them until you move out.
You should be planning and saving for your eventual move now. Be prepared to tell your parents to fuck right off and keep their opinions about the ethnicity of whomever you choose to date to themselves.
Be prepared to have their reaction be harsh, and be prepared to have things you depend on, like their financial support, taken away from you unless you comply to their wishes. Take a clear stance, and make it clear to them that this is not about them and this is not even about this particular girlfriend. This is about you and your choices, and how you and your choices are separate from your parents and their choices.
My grandma refused to talk to me for two years because I was dating a brown guy, so unfortunately I am more familiar with this than I'd like to be. You have my sympathy.
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I am also ethnically Asian Indian but born and raised in the us- my parents never care what race my brother and I date. They do not insist on Indian. I did have a friend though whose parents didn't want her to date a white guy- she insisted her parents would disown her etc if they found out so they kept it secret for years. They are married now with kids so her parents came around obviously. I don't know how it all went down but everyone seems happy now. It really depends on what you think your parents' reaction will be.
I'm in the same boat as some of you. Pointing out the problem isn't enough, providing a solution would be more helpful. He was almost born to study and yes be a doctor. Also, India didn't have much contact with other countries before the economic liberalization in the early 90s, so http://hookupex.date/n/what-time-is-it-in-east-chicago-florida.php parents' generation and their narcissism wouldn't really have been affected by outside influences.
If you think they will lecture Why Are Indian Parents So Strict About Hookup and that's it, just politely brush off the lectures. If you think they will be rude to your girlfriend, you might want to move out first so you can establish better boundaries. I'm a first generation. I do have a cousin who is 28 and dating a white girl.
He's independent and lives on his own. My dad talks about him all the time and how he lost his culture by not marring an Indian girl. He even thinks that he lost culture when he moved out of his mom's house. From this I can see how he'll react IF I tell him about my girlfriend. Is your girlfriend interested in Indian culture? It sounds like your parents might be more receptive to meeting a white girlfriend who had some sort of commitment to maintaining parts of your culture in the future, in your home, maybe if you ever have children.
You should just tell them you're learn more here someone. Don't hide that she's white. Just put it out there and let it lie. If they have a problem with you dating her, let them be continue reading assholes who come out and say so. And then, if they really do say something unequivocal about it, just go about your business.
Your parents Why Are Indian Parents So Strict About Hookup have to approve of everything you do. If you get to a point with this woman where your parents are ready to meet, and everyone is on board with meeting being a positive thing, go ahead and introduce them. But definitely cross that bridge when you come to it, and when everyone is ready. If you never get that serious with this particular woman, the upside to conducting your life this way is that, the next girl you date, your parents will be ready for it.
It won't have to be a big sneaking around production. Also, re your dad and your cousin -- a lot of people are judgy about situations that have nothing to do with them. I wouldn't take that to mean anything about how he'll behave about your situation. And, again, even if he's against it, so what?
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Is he going to order you to break up with her? And if he did, would you? Also re your parents "not letting you go out", WTF? You're a grown adult. Go out if you want to go out. What are they going to do about it?
Your parents don't have to Why Are Indian Parents So Strict About Hookup of everything you do Yeah, this. I know how strong the desire to not disappoint your parents can be, especially in the case of immigrants, but disappointed parents are not the end of the world. They should be able to move on. Agree with Sara C. Your parents will have to accept the fact that you are dating ethnically Indian woman or not at some point.
Do it gently and with love though; I am guessing they are on the older side and if they are first generation Indians, they probably had to deal with a lot of hard work and cultural shocks and adjustments etc. I can tell you that its not worth the trouble. Also, if you get to the point where things are pretty steady between you and your girlfriend, you could try to explain her the situation lest she feels weirded out, you know.
Your parents don't have to approve of everything you do Grown adults support themselves. The poster sensibly recognises that he lives source their rules while he lives under their roof they're probably also paying for school.
You can judge for yourself how likely a very strong reaction is, but I Why Are Indian Parents So Strict About Hookup not tell them, spend less time with her nights a week seems a lot, don't either of you have jobs or anything? If you don't have a job, get onefinish school and move out, then date whoever you want. Or if this is intolerable, make a plan for supporting yourself sooner, and tell them then.
Basically, if you tell them and they forbid you to see her, what are you going to do? If you tell them about her and they say you can't live with them and see her, what are you going to do?
If you tell them and they say they won't pay for your education when you are obviously not taking it seriously but wasting all your time hanging out with some girl, what are you going to do?